From: "Rod Pickett" rod@ameritech.net

I've always thought that the relationship between a pastor and a congregation had more in common with marriage than with a Major League Baseball contract. --Rod Pickett

From: Jonathan White holy3x7@newaygo.mi.us

I'm not one who believes that people are less committed today than in the past. I see examples of EXTRAORDINARY commitment. I think that many people, however, are committed only to their own happiness or personal fulfillment. I see it all the time with married couples. In premarital counseling, if they're pushed hard enough, they'll reveal that there remains an "out" in their thinking. "Well, if it gets bad enough, I guess divorce would be an option. But I don't expect that to happen." Then, of course, it does. Why? Because their commitment was not to another person, but to their own happiness. I ask, "Why do you want to marry him/her?" Almost always the answer is, "Because he/she makes me happy." They just revealed the object of their true commitment. What about Pastor Rick? He is committed to his own personal fulfillment, which he expects to find through a particular achievement, rather than through giving his heart to God and others. Are the two forms of unfaithfulness connected? They're the totally predictable fruits of self-love. --Jon White

From: Dean Edgett dedgett@nbnet.nb.ca

Pastors have a great advantage. If the "call" doesn't work out they can look sad and imply the Lord messed up. Laity have to pick them selves up Monday morning and "go kill something" to feed the kids. Why do some "calls" last 6 months. At which end of the time period did the Lord error? Hmmmm?

From: David E Drury daviddrury@juno.com

Two issues:

1) Myths about lying...

The problem may revolve around myths surrounding our idea of a "liar" or the act of "lying." I suspect most people -- and the kind of people that object when a person doesn't back up a promise -- are not really calling people "liars" in their intent... they are instead inferring that the person is "dishonorable" because they didn't follow-up. Many people tell truthful lies--those statements which at the time are made with good intent but in time are shown to be false. People are objecting at the dishonorable way people sometimes don't fulfill their promises. Of course, once someone does this often enough their intent is called into question and they may indeed be a "liar."

2) Disappearance of honor...

The real issue may be that we have a propensity to not fulfill our promises. It is likely that forty years ago if a "Pastor Rick" were to make such a promise, even if a better opportunity came along, he would not take it -- because, saying to their spouse, "That opportunity is great, but I promised I would stay and I'll back it up." Today such breaking of promises by politicians and pastors (whom are held in similar regard by many) is almost expected. What they should say is "I will do this for sure (unless something better comes along.)" And at the moment of decision we distortedly blame this dishonor on the "will of God" which is supposedly "calling us away" from our commitment.

And as you said -- the above statements could be said, verbatim, when talking about our commitment to marriage. I suspect that forty years ago, people were staying in marriages simply out of honor to a past commitment. I'm a young man -- so young I don't even remember a time like that. --Dave Drury

Reply-To: "Ken Banks" pastor93@nb.sympatico.ca

Intriguing article. The whole notion of faithfulness is at the heart of Christianity. Many times, Jesus asked his followers, "Where is your faith". Of course, He was talking mainly of spiritual matters, but isn't faithfulness to Jesus also translated into faithfulness in all other aspects of life? When we go back on our word, whether in the church or in our marriage, doesn't that take away from one's own personal integrity. Can we be trusted? Are we seeking His ways or our ways? I think that Christians, pastors included, need to demonstrate to those in and out of the church, that our word counts. What good are we, if we can't at least do that. --Ken Banks

From: ERugen1020@aol.com

Rick's sins (breaking his promise to his church and his wife) are symptoms of his illness - the inability to be faithful to a vow. The sin can be forgiven but true repentance of the heart demands visible fruits. The fruit is how humans assess the repentance, God knows the heart. Our job, as Christian leaders is to come along side people like Rick and help them grow in Christlikeness to the point where a vow means something and this takes time.

We are quick to extend the right hand of fellowship and forgiveness with a confession of repentance but are we brave enough to confront Rick when he waivers and be there over the long haul. Are we brave enough to call and ask him why he missed the men's Bible study and are we willing to spend the time it takes to go to his home when he's slipping away? If we are not, what is our sin? --Keli Rugenstein