Other "Thinking Drafts" and writing by Keith Drury -- http://www.indwes.edu/tuesday .

Will the Real Men Please Stand Up

A free verse reflection on Christian manhood

I am a man.

At least I want to be.

I am male,

for sure.

But am I a man?

What makes a male a man?

What turns a boy into a man?

I need models.

Please show yourself, men.

So I can see you.

Study your ways.

Admire you.

Imitate you.

Will the Real Men

Please Stand Up.

Silence.

Fidgeting

Chuckling.

Uncertainty.

———————

What is a real man?

Who are the models?

The Duke?

"Never apologize, mister,

it's a sign of weakness."

"Make my day" Clint?

Rambo, Chuck, or Arnold?

Macho men!

Archie Bunker?

Homer Simpson?

Dagwood Bumstead?

George McFly?

Cartoon characters, all.

Boy George?

Michael Jackson?

Gender blenders.

Or are we

to be

our mother's boy?

Nice

Sweet

Pretty

Soft

But we are men.

Not women.

———————

We are different.

Not just physical differences,

or mental,

and emotional,

but spiritual.

But churches don't know the difference.

Or don't care.

Or we don't care.

Because we ourselves

don't know the difference.

So, the church is run by men

but for women.

feminized schools,

feminized homes,

feminized society,

feminized churches.

Feminized religion leaves

a hole in the soul.

Demons fill that hole.

So we come.

Our thirty percent.

We try to fit in.

Wonder what's wrong

with us.

Because we don't know

what we are.

It started early,

this feminization.

Probably in Sunday school.

By a lady-teacher.

No men here.

"woman's work."

Men have committees.

Board meetings.

Make decisions.

Pave the parking lot.

Study budgets.

Fix the roof.

Men don't tell Bible stories,

in Sunday school.

Boy-souls starve.

We bonded early,

with Bible stories,

lady-told stories.

Biased a bit.

Slanted stories.

Even about Jesus.

Nice Jesus.

mild,

delicate,

vanilla.

Always polite,

soft.

He closed the door behind Him.

Obeyed His mom,

Took a bath.

Smiled sweetly,

shared His crayons,

talked softly,

never carried a big stick.

This cozy Jesus,

never caught a butterfly.

-- just watched them.

Helped His mother,

washed the dishes,

helped dust,

cleaned His room,

hung around the kitchen.

Never wiggled in church,

said nice things to people.

This pretty Jesus.

Androgynous.

The sort of boy

a mother hopes her son might turn out as,

or her husband.

A feminized Jesus.

No snakes,

no snails

no puppy dog tails.

Just sugar

and spice

and everything nice.

This is the half-Jesus taught.

Or caught.

By what was said

and unsaid,

in church.

He is a false Jesus.

But our idea still.

Men at church.

Men at work.

Men at the bar.

Haven't met the other half,

of Jesus.

————————

Is this why men feel so unspiritual?

"My wife is more spiritual than me."

Is it true?

Always?

Are women more spiritual than men?

Did God make men more evil?

Or, could men just think they are less spiritual?

Could we be comparing ourselves with this false

Jesus?

This half-Jesus?

Am I saying

"I'm not like Him...

my wife's more like that."

because I don't know what He's really like?

We define " Christian man."

A quiet man.

Steady man.

Cozy man.

He likes quiet talking,

doesn't walk on the grass.

Dresses nice

attends Sunday school,

sings in the choir,

drives slow,

wears a tie,

shows up,

picks up after himself,

always puts the seat back down.

"Christian man."

More so, "minister-man."

Soft, sweet, nice,

media stereotype.

Religious gelding.

Nicely dressed

sissyfied

fat.

Likes to drink tea with old ladies.

Face it, religion is feminized.

Men sense a loss.

In becoming "Christianized"

Men sometimes give up

their manhood.

An unrequired sacrifice.

Becoming like mother

or wife.

And we lose touch

with a path to spirituality.

Our own manhood.

——————

How are we different?

We are more aggressive.

Even spiritually.

Not peaceful.

But hard, and heavy,

sometimes violent.

To us spirituality

is not something done to us,

but something we do.

We want to go, see, do, attack, act.

This is what we need.

We are visual-spatial.

Words aren't as important

as seeing.

Even in our sexuality.

But especially in our learning.

We want to see it.

Hear a story.

Picture it in our mind.

We like to trade hunting stories,

tell jokes,

swap stories.

This is how we learn and change.

We are more physical-mechanical.

We like to do something

more than listen or chat.

We're not good

at listening to long talks,

taking notes,

talking too long.

We say less than women.

We'd rather do something.

Religious doing,

is more important to us

than religious listening.

We are more informal,

especially in our dress.

Dressing up.

Our wife likes it.

Some men like it.

But most don't.

Except when we have to.

Which is sometimes at church.

And we men are warriors.

We can sacrifice.

Bleed.

Die.

For a cause greater than we are.

Or One greater than we.

And we grieve.

Mourn

and brood.

Ache for the world's pain

and for ourselves.

Yet most churches offer

a cheery feel-good experience.

Don't worry, be happy!

Smile.

Feel sunny.

No way down.

No mourning.

No grief.

No Gethsemane.

No cross.

At church,

all routes lead up.

And we are earthy.

Woman say "gross."

Who knows why?

Could be our raw material -- dirt.

And we yearn back to it.

Is there any place in the church

for the "earthy side" of men?

Is there an earthy side to the Bible?

Who will tell teenage boys this side of the Bible?

Or, will our boys learn

that to become a good Christian man

means denying his "earthy side."

Become more like his mother?

And we men are risk-takers.

Even reckless.

Ask insurance companies.

We take chances.

We are rash

and competitive,

especially when we are young.

Sometimes we do stupid things

at least what some think is stupid.

The man quits his well-paying job.

Uproots his wife and two kids,

gives away his house.

Takes his family off to Alaska,

to "witness to the Eskimos?"

Most church folk say

"he's gone off his rocker."

This irresponsible man.

Unreasonable man.

To leave his home.

To sell all.

To leave his nets.

Foolish Abraham.

Irrational Peter.

Most churches prefer

rich young ruler types.

And men are wild.

Even the corporate man.

The corporation controls him.

But he lets it out after work

sometimes.

We are unpredictable,

untamed,

sometimes dangerous.

We have a wild man inside.

Deep below the surface,

chained up by years of training.

Even the domesticated man knows it.

There is a wild man deep within.

When the wild man is released,

action happens.

Sometimes life-risking action,

sometimes superhuman energy,

sometimes unshackled fury.

Most men have been taught

that the wild man is evil...

our carnal nature,

dressed up like a wild man.

But it is not.

The wild man is Jesus.

The real Jesus,

not the half-Jesus.

The Jesus

you can't put in a box.

The untamed Jesus.

Unpredictable Jesus.

This trouble-causing Jesus.

Breaking the half-men's Sabbath rules.

Treating women as humans

not possessions.

Telling status seekers

they would be last in the Kingdom.

Railing against

crooked religious bureaucracy.

The wild man Jesus

who fought with the Devil,

declared war on corrupt religion,

left home

and wandered around with a group.

This is the wild man Jesus

The one they didn't tell you about.

This Jesus

knew what it meant to mourn.

This Jesus

seldom said what people expected Him to say.

This Jesus

withered a fig tree with His anger.

This Jesus

turned over tables in the Temple.

This Jesus

got himself killed.

For you.

Have you met this wild man Jesus?

Does He live inside you?

Have you set Him free?

Will you follow Him?

To do the radical.

The tough.

To sacrifice.

To follow.

To die

for a man greater than yourself?

To live

for a man greater than yourself?

Does He live in you?

Have you met this MAN?

This GOD?

This God-man?

This Man of God?

Will you be

a Man of God?

So what do you think?

To contribute to the thinking on this issue e-mail your response to Tuesday@indwes.edu