Other "Thinking Drafts" and writing by Keith Drury -- http://www.indwes.edu/tuesday .

Madonna's Hermeneutic

Just in case you haven't heard, I wanted to reassure you by reporting that Madonna plans to have her new daughter read the Bible. Lourdes, who was born October 15, may not have a daddy in the house, but she will have a Bible. As for Madonna's hermeneutic: "I want my daughter to read the Bible, but I will explain to her that these are stories that people made up to teach people -- it's not the rule."

The Madonna Hermeneutic is, of course, not new. This view sees the Bible as a sort of spiritually souped up Aesop's Fables, or a religious "Book of Values" -- something to learn from, but not live by. Madonna puts it, "it's not the rule." I imagine Madonna will especially want to skip the rule-type stuff in there about sex and marriage. So, the "Madonna Hermeneutic" sees the Bible as a good book for moral stories, but not for binding rules.

Which brings me to the evangelical church. While evangelicals love to bash Madonna, many share her hermeneutic. We like the Bible stories, especially for the children. We think its good for them -- even send them to Sunday school to get a good dose. But when it comes to the Bible's binding rules for life, especially those relating to us adults, we'd just as soon pass. The result is churchfuls of evangelicals who sport the most recent edition of the "Promise Keeper's Bible" or "Student Bible" or "PMS Bible" but whose day to day lives reject the Bible's rules.

Take marriage for instance. America's evangelical church has pretty much abandoned the notion of permanence in marriage. We had to compromise on this didn't we? Hey, it's the real world. Perhaps we can use the "hardness of their hearts" loophole? Whatever, most evangelicals have found it pragmatic to soft-pedal Christ's "hard teachings" on marriage. His stories are fine. It's the rules that are hard to swallow.

Or how about materialism? C'mon, be honest. Do evangelicals have any intention whatsoever of implementing Jesus of Nazareth's teachings on piling up treasures? Don't hold your breath. We think these teachings are at least impractical, and maybe even un-American. We celebrate wealth and lift up wealthy Christians. We creatively chip at Christ's teachings until we have whittled away their hardness and softened their sharpness. Like Madonna, we like the Bible's stories more than its teachings. So evangelicals live pretty much as we please -- not that much differently than Madonna, quite frankly -- adding a dollop of Bible stories on top of our disobedient lives to give a little moral flavor.

O.K. O.K... I should be happier that Madonna wants her daughter to read the Bible -- even if she does think the stories are made-up. But I'm not. Why not? Because I agree with the main flow of the prophets and teachers of the last few millennia: the Bible's stories taken separately from the Bible's demands will damn the soul faster than no Bible at all. Madonna's soul... or ours.

THE NEWS: Madonna gave birth to a baby girl. Lourdes Maria Ciccone Leon was born on Monday October 14th 1996 in Los Angeles' Good Samaritan Hospital. The child was born by C-section, after Madonna was in labor for more than 12 hours. (Lourdes is a small town in France. Here, the Virgin Mary is said to have appeared to a young poor girl in 1858. Millions of pilgrims visit its Roman Catholic shrine every year. Thousands have claimed to be miraculously healed of their illnesses.

So what do you think?

To contribute to the thinking on this issue e-mail your response to Tuesday@indwes.edu