Having received my thousandth e-mail announcing the Second Coming as March 10th., 1997, it is time I wrote back. What is it about the web which inspires people to figure out the complicated formulas proving that William Jefferson Clinton combined with Hillary Rodham Clinton total 666? Then they are inspired by some spirit to send their inside information to umpteen million people in a Pssssst -- read this style. The latest tells me the Prince of Wales is indeed the Antichrist, meeting 27 of the 42 signs that are possible to meet yet.

As a veteran of the evangelists who unfolded intricately painted canvas time maps across the front of little churches, and, more recent fads like *88 Reasons Christ will return in 1988*, I take a dim view of these date-setters. They clutter up my mailbox and waste my time which could be used to write to real people about real problems.

So, I've decided to write a response that my mail system can send automatically to these dear hearts. Here it is.

__________________________
Bless you for sending e-mail about religious matters, but I won't be reading your letter. I don't read end-times or date-setting e-mails. Here's why:

Maybe I'm wrong about this, but I feel that you are wasting time that should be spent elsewhere. Instead of speculating about the date of the second coming, I wish you'd volunteer to teach a Junior Sunday school class, or work in a mission, or sign up for nursery duty. It's not that I can tell you how to spend your time. I can't. I waste time too (such as in writing a weekly column or this reply to you.) It's just that, of all the people I know who dwell on this subject, most are dreamer-speculators who do little of the actual work of the church. They'd rather figure out numerological puzzles than shovel snow or clean up the fellowship hall. So, I didn't read your conjectures -- I'll be preparing my Sunday school lesson, or doing something else more constructive.

You claim to enhance evangelism, I know. Your idea is that I should start telling people that Jesus will return March 10th, and they'll get scared enough to become Christians. Or that knowing the date is close, I will be motivated to act right. But it won't work. Not really. And, even if some are saved they'll likely wind up being like the shallow-soil conversions which fizzle later (especially by March 11th, if He does not return on the 10th.) The whole idea is like the fellow cheating on his wife being told -- She's gonna walk through that door in three hours! Would this change anything? HA! Most cheaters would figure out they had two hours and forty-five minutes to play around. Sinners too. Knowing the date of the Second Coming does not change immediate behavior for the better. Frankly, if the unsaved won't listen now, they wouldn't listen even if one rose from the dead to tell them.

Hey, c'mon... I don't even believe the Pope when he says that. Stop it!

It is misplaced priorities. You are like the Magi, spiritual astrologers seeking answers from your sky of numbers. The attention should be on God, and Christ, and the gospel. You trivialize these more weighty matters by emphasizing dates and crazy 666 theories.

You tell me things like the last verse in the last chapter of the last book of the Bible is the exact same number as the birth year and birth date of your most recent nomination for Antichrist. Doesn't it bother you that the verse numbers were not even added until 1551? In fact, it probably doesn't bother you, for you have such a broad view of inspiration that you claim it for your own insights. It is a too low view of the Scriptures. And a too-high view of man.

Face it, the whole thing is about *figuring out* God's plans. It is too much emphasis on man and our intellect to figure out things best left in God's realm alone. You can figure out for yourself what Christ claimed only the Father knew? Sure. But, what if you did? So what? What would this accomplish, other than to show your own human cleverness? Are you greater than Christ? Do you know what He Himself assigned only to the Father. Do you want us to worship you? Are you greater than He? Sorry, even if you are right, I'll stick with Jesus.

What if you indeed are right about the Second Coming happening this March 10th (or June 27th., or December 21st.) So what? What good is it to know? Would it *change* anything? Should it cause Christians to quit school, stop working, begin carrying placards on the streets, go visit all our relatives and witness to them? Would it? If so, then why do we not do these things now? Isn't that the gist of all of Jesus' teaching on these matters? He taught us to keep our lamps trimmed. Keep a supply of oil -- every day. Feed the hungry, cloth the naked, visit those who are sick and in prison. And to do these things on a daily basis as if every day is The Day of the Lord, and not just because we are prompted to cram just before the final exam?

Sorry. I'll pass on your end times letter. Rather, I want to live every single day as if it is the last. This is the way Jesus taught, in my opinion. Your opinion may differ, and that is fine. But I don't have to read your unsolicited e-mail either. Knowing the real date would not improve things for me, other than give me the impression I have plenty of time before March 10th -- to prepare my lamps and care for the poor before the sheep and goats are sorted out. No. I'd rather live as if *tomorrow* were the day, not as if I have several months to spare. So I'll pass on reading about dates, and signs, and speculative myths or numerology. Many of us in the Kingdom of God feel that we have more important things to do than play spiritual Stratego.

God bless you, just the same.

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O.K. O.K. you can't tell people in your church things like this. So, how *do* you handle the dear person who is a precious member of your church who keeps calling you aside to share the latest insights received directly from God about the end times? Answering unsolicited e-mails is easy. Dealing with church members who have this obsessive fixation is another matter. What do you do?
 

So what do you think?

By Keith Drury, 1997. You are free to transmit, duplicate or distribute this article for non-profit use without permission.