How come Christians are so cranky lately? You know Christians prone to grumble, gripe, and complain about just about everything from church music or the length of the sermon to the carpet in the nursery. Not everybody, of course, but many evangelical pastors believe cranky Christians are on the increase and Christian civility is in decline. I wonder why? Do any of these prevailing theories explain it?

Christians aren't exempt form our world's collapsing manners. Last week as I chugged to work at about 50 mph (hey, that's nearly top speed for my old Jeep) I noted an Audi jerkily following me just a few feet from my rear bumper. The driver had a 'lead follow or get out of the way' attitude. Shrugging my shoulders, I pulled half-off the road so he could pass. As the car came even with me, I noted the driver was a middle-aged woman, dressed in a neat business suit. She reminded me of one of my favorite teachers in elementary school. On the other hand, as she whooshed past me, glaring for a moment, she caught my eye, then summarily gave me the finger. Whaaaaaat? My favorite elementary school teacher? The truth is, we live in a spit-in-the-umpire's-face culture and we're seeing the disappearance of civility. Christians today will say or do to their pastor things that even the ungodly wouldn't have ten years ago. The culture is rougher. So are Christians. That's one theory.

Here's a second theory: It's no secret that evangelicals have had a romance with the notion of 'customer orientation.' We've accepted that to be successful we must 'find a need and fill it.' 'Do your research' and 'find what they want' before designing our services to meet their need. In fact, many evangelical churches do not just have services, they are services. So once we started treating the attendees and prospects as 'customers' they started acting like it -- and, not finding the complaint department, they tell the pastor. This is an interesting theory too. But look at the next one.

This theory says that Christians today are harried and beleaguered -- under extraordinary pressure at work and home. All this stress pressurizes them like a shook-up Coke. So, when your committee discusses the comparative merits of praise choruses and hymns one evening, you pop their pull-tab and they spray all over you. Hmmmm... I've seen a few Cokes explode in my day.

Some even hypothesize that today's Christians just aren't sleeping enough and that's why they're cranky. In 1910 before the invention of the modern light bulb, we slept about 9 hours; today it's about 7 1/2. Now, consistently losing an hour and a half's sleep every night of your life probably does make a fellow crabby. At least it's a nice excuse, like apologizing for your baby's crankiness with, 'Oh, sorry he's so cranky, he's teething, you know.' We can always say, 'Oh, sorry for that outburst, he doesn't mean it -- he's missed 90 minutes of sleep every night since he was born." This could explain a lot of outbursts. But there's still another theory.

This explanation proposes that evangelicals trained their people for twenty years on how to coerce the power structures to get their way -- write letters, complain, boycott, march, circulate petitions. So (this hypothesis goes) today these same Christians have turned these same methods on their own church leadership. They write letters to ecclesiastical hierarchy, circulate petitions, and withhold their tithe. Hmmmmm... Is there truth to this theory? Maybe, but here's one more:

Are some cranky Christians simply carnal. The remedy is spiritual, not just a better night's sleep?

Why are 'Cranky Christians' cranky? What's your theory?

So what do you think?

By Keith Drury, 1996. You are free to transmit, duplicate or distribute this article for non-profit use without permission.