Woman pastor and “clout” with young men

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QUESTION

I am making my way here as a women in ministry but I face some significant gender challenges.   The women and older men respect me and have given me authority as the pastor, but the younger men are reluctant.  Why don't the younger men don't grant me the clout to be their pastor? 

--Former Student

ANSWER

First, be relieved that all the women are granting you "clout" as pastor--that's not automatic--many women in ministry have as much trouble with women (especially younger ones) as the men.  That’s good news in your situation.

As for the younger men, perhaps to start with remember they are the least inclined group to grant authority to young male pastors too, so it isn't a 100% gender issue perhaps. But I suspect gender is an issue here.  Could it be that the older guys have a greater tendency to respect your education and credentials while the younger men are more inclined to respect a "track record" or "more proof" that you're an authentic pastor? 

Also, could it be that younger men are more inclined to sexualize the relationship (you will seldom make an error overestimating the role of sexuality in younger men) and thus can't align in their minds "attractive young women" and "authoritative preaching Pastor?"   Are these younger men more likely to see you as a "young woman who is a pastor" rather than a "pastor who is a young woman?"  And I suspect this is even more pressing for a single woman than a married one.

Whatever, you must be the pastor anyway--the pastor of the whole church and every person.  Remember the "Berry Bucket" theory--your pastoral "clout" increases dramatically with both new people who are older than you and new people you reach who are younger than you.  So reaching new people will help. Also, make sure you give no signals that sexualize your relationship with younger men, even unintentional signs—no use making matters worse if that is a factor.   Hang in there.  While we hope for immediate improvement in your “clout” eventually you'll not be a “Young woman pastor” at all, but you’ll be a "Middle aged woman pastor" and finally an "Older women pastor."  But that may not be encouraging at all but depressing! Let’s hope for improvement before you turn 50!

Keith

So, what would you add?

To suggest additional insights I missed write to Keith@TuesdayColumn.com