Gay Guys Make Great Husbands

Emerging Tuesday Column: The following are notes from my “Writer’s Notebook”—ideas that might develop into a Tuesday Column. They are presented here for two reasons: (a)because some of you only need a seed idea to get what you want from me—something to think about. And (b) some of you like to give your input on the front end—shaping what I might later say. So either take this and think about it, or respond with your input to keith@tuesdaycolumn.com

Gay Guys Make Great Husbands

11/15/02 writer’s notebook

• Many college women make lists of what they want in a husband.
• In fact they have been encouraged to do so by their mom and some youth camp speakers.
• They have them in the front of their Bible sometimes. They know that “God will give me the desires of my heart.”
• But even if they don’t have one written down they have a mental list—you can ask them and they’ll detail the descriptions of their ideal husband—the one they are looking for.
• I’ve seen these lists.
• I’ve studied them.
• Most guys know about them.
• In fact I’m writing this column representing those guys.
• What do many of these lists describe? What do they want in their “ideal husband”?
• They want husband to be a close friend; one who will chat with them softly as they curl up by the fire.
• A husband who likes to “talk a lot” each evening a lot and doesn’t just watch TV.
• A really nice guy, you know, a gentle one, one who is a “real sweetheart” someone to be a loyal friend, a guy who is “interested in me and want to talk—even about little things,” “a guy interested in people and relationships,” “a guy who likes candlelight dinners, really dresses well and would go shopping with me sometimes.”
• In short—many of these gals aren’t really looking for the “opposite sex” at all. They really don’t want a man. They want a male girlfriend. Face it, your list describes many gay guys better than us regular men.
• So, if you are one of these gals-with-the-list (either written on in your head) the fellows I represent want to say this:

“Quit trying to turn us men into girlfriends. Let us be me. If you really want to marry someone of the “opposite sex” then don’t try to turn us into a girlfriend. Let us be a man. Until you are ready for a man, stay with girlfriends…they will ‘meet your needs’ better. Or make friends with some gay guy who can be almost-exactly what you have on your list. HOWEVER, when you are ready for a real man in your life—an ‘opposite sex” then we men—the real guys not the half-men, are here and ready for you. “